A Hogwarts Odyssey
by Adriana Troy
Summary: Whoever said reading from Book 6 and not having three Galleons would cause so much trouble? SPOILERS for Order of the Phoenix.


A Hogwarts Odyssey  
Adriana

Disclaimer: The world and characters of Harry Potter belong to JK Rowling. I make no money from writing this. Like anyone would buy it. o0,

Dedication: To Azrail, Jamie, and Angie. May I portray you all correctly.

A/N: This is a self insertion fic. If you've got a problem with them, don't read this. I've tried to write it as best I could. No beta readers so there will be errors. I ask only that you give it a go with an open mind. You know how hard it is to write 14 pages in type 8 Verdana? Try it sometime.

Rating: R- major swearing and amore later (way, way later) on. I can't emphasize the 'mature language' enough. If you don't like reading cuss words, you may want to skip this. I'm not exaggerating, Azrail really does swear this much.

Archive: Sure. What the hell. Like you'd want to.

Review: Damn skippy. If you read this, you should review. It's the nice thing to do. Didn't your mama teach you any manners?

Chapter I  
_ Should've Listened to Az_

She stared at the building. It was arranged in the riverfront section of town, a section where the very air looked dirty. Grime on the blocks that made up the outside lent a horrible blackened appearance. The main glass window, with giant yellow letters painted onto the glass, declared the name of the store. _Madam's Tome_. Replace the _e_ with _b_, and it would have been much closer to the appearance and feel of the mysterious new bookshop.

"What a fuck'n dump, man."

Adriana turned to Azrail, her best friend of over twelve years. She had first met the feisty five-foot, eighty-pound dark haired raver when she was only five. She had the same attitude in those days as well; no one pushes me around. I give orders, not take them. Azrail had large brown eyes, the color of rich dark chocolate, and a round cherubic face that somehow always managed to look intimidating if angered. She was a living Amazon. "I mean, jesus, what the fuck are they gonna sell in there? Books on decorating your home to look like a fuck'n haunted house?"

Azrail was also fond of swearing. Nearly every uttered statement from her mouth contained at least one shit, damn, fuck, or some other more imaginative curse.

"I think it has atmosphere." Angie stated with her arms folded, and regarding the building from Adriana's other side. The two had also been life long best friends, but they had lived much closer, one street away. Adriana had often spent weeks at a time at Angie's, making the seventeen year old more like an adoptive sister to the older eighteen year old Angie. She even received an Easter basket from Angie's mother every year. There was no secret they kept; the two knew everything about each other. Faults were accepted, and even smiled fondly at.

Her hair was the most striking feature, a long mane of brown with auburn highlights, flowing down to her knees. She had been growing it out for years, and it lent a look of old world grace to her. Bright hazel eyes took in the shop window, browsing its display. She dressed in a style not seen since the 1970s, tie-dye and faded flared jeans being her favorite. "Worth browsing in, at least."

"You _would _think so." Azrail muttered, lips pursing after the comment. Angie glanced sharply over out of the corner of her eye, glaring. The two could get along, but without Adriana as a mutual friend, would probably never speak to one another.

Jamie, a girl Adriana had made friends with in high school, shook her head. "I think it's probably condemned." She pointed out in her smooth voice. The youngest of the four, she often seemed the maturest. She was driven, wanting everything out of life, and equally intent on gaining it all for herself.

She was dressed in simple jeans and a baby tee. The sweater she had donned for the air-conditioning left in her Jimmy. She dressed like a Prep, but was of similar mind to a skater. Pretty, thin, and nearly as tall as Adriana, she could have been a model if she wanted. Jamie, however, always said she wanted to succeed on brains rather than beauty. "Probably cockroaches," she shuddered, "I hate cockroaches."

"Hm." Adriana brushed a lock of her own dark brown hair out of her face. It was late August, the air still warm, but the first changes into fall were beginning. "Well, we came all the way out here for lack of anything better to do--"

"Dude," Azrail interjected with a dismissive tone, "there's a shit load of better stuff to do."

"Yeah, well, nothing all of us can agree on." Adriana pointed out.

Azrail narrowed her eyes, but when Adriana only smiled back, she snorted. "Fine." Azrail rolled her eyes before taking off at an almost military pace, further blossomed by the hard beat of combat boots hitting the pavement. Her ripped skirt held together by large safety pins, flaring behind her. A few of her wrist braces sporting spikes clanged as she slammed the side of her fist into the lamp post before disappearing into the alcove. The ding of a bell signaled her entrance.

"Right." Angie said, smirking, before heading off after her. Leather sandals flopping onto the pavement. The outline of a sun merged with a moon smiling at Jamie and Adriana from the tattoo on her lower back.

Jamie and Adriana exchanged a glance, before following the odd pair. The breeze was at their faces, cooling them, before cutting off entirely as the entered the small entrance. The bell clanged once again, and they both found themselves in a different world.

Azrail was standing in the middle of the main room of the shop, gazing around with wonder. "You see this shit?"

It was like walking into the past, into the Victorian Parlor of a fortune teller. The girls took in the hanging red curtains, with dangling golden chords at the edges. The old style stained glass lamps that glowed softly, ending a romantic ambience. The rich mahogany bookshelves, stained tables with lion pawed feet sticking out. Beads that Angie examined fondly hung from another arch, and tea cozies sat on the table as if awaiting guests to sit in comfortable leather wing backed chairs.

The walls were stacked with books. Not books with decorative paper covers, but older books with worn leather. Adriana ran her fingers over the spines reverently, enjoying the smooth texture and cool touch. They smelled of must, old paper, a scent she recognized from the yellowed pages of her father's most prized books. There were no prices for the US and Canada stamped in an ugly manner on the back. Only a book.

Another smaller shelf carried old-fashioned magazines and periodicals from the eighteen hundreds, which Jamie flipped through. She held up one of the first National Geographic Magazines, flipping through the thin paper edition so different from the colorful laminations of today. Angie had moved away from the beaded curtains to examine books on the science of extra sensory perception. They were first scientific investigations and publications into the paranormal.

Azrail was flipping through a book of sketches, noting the look of wildlife Lords and Ladies had penned to paper. She was silent, eyes intensely gazing at the page. They all carried the same intent look of study for the rare pieces in front of them. One didn't need a full grasp of history to feel it permeate the very air around them.

"Welcome."

A rasping voice greeted. Adriana glanced over her shoulder and took in a severely dressed woman, clad in an old fashioned buttoned up black dress. Like the rest of the shop, she seemed to have emerged from another time. Her hair was fixed tightly above her head; tiny blue eyes framed by deep wrinkles gazed over them. They lingered for a moment on Azrail, a thin gray eyebrow lifted, before falling on the rest.

"Hello." Jamie said politely, putting the copy of the old periodical back into its shelf.

Angie and Adriana shared a look, before Adriana turned back to the bookshelf and continued to read the titles.

"Is there anything special you are searching for?" The old woman asked, back locked straight, as she swept her eyes over all of them again. "Something you have a need for?"

There was a quality to the words that caused the hair on the back of Adriana's neck to rise. She felt as if there was more to the question than the proprietor of the shop searching for an item for a customer. Adriana got the strange sensation that she was asking for a deeply desired wish. Why she had the feeling, she couldn't logically explain to herself, so she shook her head and dismissed it as nonsense. "Just browsing." She answered, never pulling her eyes from the shelf.

There was something disconcerting about the woman.

"I see." She answered primly, seemingly rooted to the spot. "Let me know if you need help dears."

"Yeah, right, we'll do that." Azrail stated, gazing at the woman with an odd expression on her face before shutting the sketchbook and walking over to Adriana.

She stood at her side, leaning over to whisper in her ear. "Is it just my spider senses, or is this old bitch from the fucking Twilight Zone?"

"You too?" Adriana whispered back, turning her head.

Azrail, for all her severe looks and attitude, was extremely intelligent and sharp. Especially when it came to people. She could read body language like most people read books. And she often displayed nearly ESP abilities. She read omens, interpreted dreams, and found the darker meanings of life in a manner that reminded Adriana of Edger Allan Poe. The other students at school had often called Azrail a witch under their breath. Her unusual name of Azrail Morte didn't help matters, either.

Azrail knew all of that and often cultivated the image to her advantage.

"Look, this place is tight, in a fucked up B movie kinda way, Ana. I know you like historical shit, but c'mon dude." She glanced at the old woman that looked as if she stepped out of a civil war portrait with doubt. "This is freaky. Something ain't right."

Angie had joined them, her hair behind her. "This is the strangest bookshop I've ever been in."

"Yeah." Adriana agreed, before turning back to Azrail. "Just a few more minutes, there are some interesting titles. Thinking of buying something."

Azrail rolled her eyes before leaning against the edge of the shelf, staring at the old lady. "Hurry up then. I don't like it."

"What's your deal?" Angie asked as Adriana continued to peruse a bit faster.

"It's fucked up, man."

Angie rolled her eyes. "You say that about everything, Az."

"And I'm usually right." Azrail shot back heckles raised. "Remember that kegger? Who said the stoner kid was gonna freak out? Hm? Me. If you had listened, we wouldn't have ended up running from the cops."

"That kid was freaky." Jamie agreed, having worked her way over. "Remember how he kept cutting his hand because I wouldn't talk to him?"

"Guys just freak out around you." Azrail stated, shaking her head, her bright anime blue dyed bangs shaking around her face. "You drive them nuts, man."

"I do." Jamie said morosely, nodding in agreement. She sighed before turning to the bookshelf.

Adriana half listened to them. It was an old discussion they had all had at one time or another. Jamie turned normal guys into psychos who tried to lock her into a little cage. She had witnessed it happen with each of Jamie's ex boyfriends. Jesse, the latest, had just been diagnosed with drug induced schizophrenia, and enjoyed calling Jamie at all hours of the night. He had been pretty normal guy before dating her. Jamie never did anything outrageous, they just all seemed to fall hard and fall fast. Jamie was leery of obsessive men, after her other boyfriend JR had locked her in the basement.

Suddenly, Adriana's eyes paused as if glued to one of the books. It seemed so out of place, and yet as if it belonged. It was leather like the rest, the titles in gold leaf letters that flaked with age. It was the title that seemed wrong.

Harry Potter and the Second War

Adriana and Jamie were both fans of the Harry Potter books. While Adriana was a hard core Potter fanatic, reading fan fiction on the net and watching her two DVDs over and over again, Jamie just enjoyed the books. Azrail and Angie had both watched the movies, but either had yet to actually read any of the stories. Something Jamie and Adriana considered a grave injustice.

Adriana stared at the title, it was so out of place, and the last book to have been published a few months before was Order of the Phoenix. Next to it was Mary Shelling's Frankenstein. The other side was Shakespeare's collective works. She pursed her lips, thinking it must have been some other novel that happened to share a similar title to the works of JK Rowling. She pulled out the heavy book, and opened it to the title page.

The name JK Rowling stared back at her.

"What the hell?" She said, gazing down at the book.

"Huh?" Azrail said, head snapping to look.

"It's-- Harry Potter." Adriana said quietly.

"Well, it's like the most popular book out. Even I know that." Azrail replied, shrugging. "No bookstore would be complete without it."

"This isn't any Harry Potter book out today." Adriana said quietly, flipping to the first page. Sure enough, it described Harry in another miserable summer at the Dursleys. Mourning the loss of Sirius Black. Trying to come to grips with what had been revealed at the end of book five, Order of the Phoenix.

Jamie looked over her shoulder, her own brows drawn together. "What do you mean?"

"This is book six, Jamie." Adriana stated the excitement in her voice drawing even Angie's attention.

"Impossible." Jamie said, reading a paragraph. "Book six hasn't been written yet."

"Dude, put it back." Azrail said, now standing straight up, alarmed. "Don't fuck with it."

"Are you kidding?" Adriana retorted, glancing up. "No way."

"It was probably written by a fan or something." Angie stated, shrugging her shoulders unconcerned. "Like that stuff you read on the net."

"It says JK Rowling." Adriana said, grasping at the dream. Angie was probably right, but the fan in her delighted at the thought of somehow finding the next Harry Potter.

"Have you found it, dear?" The old woman asked quietly, right behind them.

A collective shiver ran through the group as the turned to regard her. Azrail looked as if she was winding up, ready to spring like a cat with it's tail fluffed out. Angie was frowning lightly, her hazel eyes regarding the woman wearily. Jamie watched the woman calmly, although the twitch in her fingers belayed her own nervousness.

Adriana herself was too excited to take note of the alarm running through a more primitive portion of her mind. "Yeah, think so. Uh, where'd you get this?"

The woman smiled. It was a disconcerting sight, a slip of a grin like the Mona Lisa, but with a much more sinister secret. "The book chooses the witch." She said softly.

Adriana smiled nervously in return. "Heh, one of my favorite lines. You a fan?"

"You could say that." The old woman returned in that rasp. "Will you be purchasing this, dear?"

"Yeah," Adriana answered, opening her small leather purse. "How much?"

"Three Galleons."

Jamie and Adriana laughed awkwardly again. Azrail and Angie shared a confused look.

"Seriously- how much?" Adriana tried again, as politely as she could. She wanted the hell out of there. Now.

The woman regarded her calmly. "Three Galleons, dear. It's a fair price for such an important book." She gazed down at it fondly. "It reveals the horror Voldemort is capable of. Darkness creeping over the Wizarding World. The Order is fighting against it, while Harry fights what he is. It's an important crutch in the series, leading up to the final battle between good and evil."

Adriana didn't care for a summary. She wanted the damn book, and decided to play along. "All right. How much are three Galleons in Muggle money?"

"Dude, what the fuck?" Azrail muttered, staring at the old woman with alarm.

"Why don't we make a deal, hm?" The old woman murmured. "Turn to page one hundred and seventy four. When Harry arrives at Kings Crossing to go to school. Read the first paragraph of the chapter. I think, then, you'll be able to collect my payment."

Adriana blinked a few times. "Ah-- all right." She said, thinking to humor the woman. She turned to the instructed page, noting the chapter heading of _Train Wreck_, and began reading the first sentence silently.

"Aloud, please, dear. So the rest of the girls will hear." The old lady instructed with a strange sinister quality to her voice.

"Dude..."

Adriana ignored Azrail, and did as the lady advised. "_Harry arrived at the crowded bustle of Kings Crossing, his ticket to the Hogwarts Express clutched in his hand. Muggles were all around, as always, and Mr. Weasley acted as a look out while Ginny and Mrs. Weasley ran for the wall between platforms nine and ten. They disappeared into the brick, and Harry pushed his own trolley up alongside Ron, preparing to run for it when the coast was clear...._"

She heard three gasps beside her, and stopped reading, looking over to Angie. It was as if a bubble had been popped, and suddenly a roar of rushing voices and stampeding feet swept over her like a tidal wave. There was an odd echo to it, as if listening to a large cavern, and her own eyes grew wide, as she understood why.

The wary atmosphere of the Victorian parlor-like bookshop was gone, as was the old lady. In its place was the stone and marble of a station. People bustling through en mass, some with only a few bags, others with none, and yet more with trolleys loaded with trunks. Through this, she realized that her arms and hands were lighter, and she looked back down to where the book had rested.

It was gone.

"What the FUCK just happened?!" Azrail exclaimed, wide eyed, boggled and her head darting from one side to the next. She turned around in a slow circle before yelling again. "Holy shit!"

"Where?" Angie closed her eyes tightly, the corner of them wrinkling with the strain before she opened them back up. "How?"

"This must be a dream." Jamie whispered in a small voice. "It's got to be."

"Well someone pinch me already." Azrail hissed. Angie reached out almost dazedly and pinched a large chunk of skin on the other's arm. Azrail jumped back, rubbing the spot furiously, while glaring. "Fuck dude, I didn't mean it literally."

"Sorry." Angie said in an unconvincing voice. "You asked."

Adriana ignored them and spotted a pair of boys with trolleys packed each with an owl cage on top. The one was a freckled boy of sixteen, with vivid red hair. The other was slightly shorter, with a disheveled head of black hair. He wore round glasses and she could make out his emerald green eyes. They looked around, then, suddenly ran at the brick pillar. Just as they were about to collide, they disappeared through it- just phasing through the wall.

"Holy shit." Adriana said in a stunned voice. "We're at King's Crossing." She looked up and noticed the large black signs marking platforms nine and then ten. "At platform nine and three quarters. Holy shit!"

"What? Where's that?" Azrail asked, apparently forgetting the first Harry Potter movie.

"London." Jamie said, her voice shaking slightly. "England. Oh my god."

"WHAT?!" Azrail exploded, causing quite a few of the commuters to stare at the group of girls. "You mean we're in the fucking book?!"

"That's impossible." Angie muttered. "No, can't be. It's a book. You don't get sucked into books."

"You do in the Wizarding World." Adriana said sarcastically. "You saw Chamber of Secrets, didn't you?"

"Yeah, but, that's a movie, Ana." Angie said, looking at her now. "Just a story."

Adriana frowned. "Then, you tell me how we ended up in the middle of a London Train station without even taking a step out of that freaky bookshop."

Silence greeted her.

Azrail began shaking her head furiously. "Damn it Ana, I told you to put that book down. I told you." She stopped and folded her arms, glaring. "No one ever listens to me."

"Well, how do we get back?" Jamie asked suddenly. "I mean, do we read the end or something?"

"Can't." Adriana answered, showing her empty hands. "It disappeared."

"Well, that's just perfect." Azrail spat. She sighed and threw her hands to her sides, clenching her hands into fists. "What are we supposed to do now?"

"Get on the train." Angie remarked.

Everyone stared at her.

"What?" Azrail barked, narrowing her eyes. "Get on the train? The one to that school? You nuts?"

"Hogwarts." Jamie stated, suddenly nodding. "Yeah. If we're trapped in the story- as crazy as this whole thing sounds- then we need to stay with Harry."

"Whoa- hold on, chica." Azrail glanced over at the wall. "What if we just stay here? I mean, you know, wait for the spell, or whatever, to end?"

"And if it doesn't? If we're suppose to follow Harry?" Jamie retorted, gazing at Azrail with her head tilted in question. "How do we get to Hogwarts then?"

"I don't know! I've never been trapped in a fucking book before!" Azrail yelled back angrily.

Adriana put a hand on Azrail's shoulder, and it seemed to help her calm somewhat. "Look, here's what we do. If we really are in the book, and we are supposed to follow Harry, then the wall will let us through, right?"

Everyone, with looks of shock on their faces, nodded.

"Okay, if we're not, then it won't let us. If we're having some sort of acid trip, obviously we won't get sucked through, right?"

Another round of nods from them followed.

"Then, seems to me, we should at least try." Adriana glanced at the platform column. "Can't hurt anything."

Numbed, they began weaving their way through the crowd towards the wall between platforms nine and ten. Azrail muttering curses under her breath, Angie just moving with a dazed look on her face, and Jamie was leaning towards Adriana, whispering.

"If we are in London, how much do you think it'll be to get tickets to fly home?" She asked, blinking. "How do I explain this to my mom?"

"I don't know, Jamie." Adriana replied, thinking how pissed her dad was going to be if she called him up telling him she needed money to get back to the states. She almost winced at the imagined conversation, which involved a lot of quiet, angry questions she wouldn't be able to answer.

"How much did I put in the parking meter?" Jamie bit her lip. "I have those parking tickets. They'd tow the Jimmy."

"I think we've got other things to worry about." Adriana answered, as they all stopped at the wall. They stared at it for several minutes, just standing there. Even though Adriana had seen the two boys, she strongly suspected were Harry and Ron, disappearing through it a moment ago, she was suddenly unsure. She half expected that she had somehow fallen asleep in the bookshop, and was about to wake up.

She shifted to each foot uneasily. "Um..."

"I'll do it." Azrail said in an exasperated voice. She took a deep breath and walked straight at the wall. Slowing only fractionally as she got closer.

The three girls watched as she disappeared like a ghost into the wall. Or, at least, how Adriana imagined a ghost passing through a solid brick wall must look.

"Holy crap." Angie squeaked.

"Okaaay." Jamie said slowly, inching forward. "They are sooo going to tow the Jimmy." She said sadly before gradually disappearing into the wall.

Angie and Adriana exchanged another look. After so many years of knowing the other girl, Adriana could see the fear, and confusion. "You want me to go next?"

"No." Angie said softly. "Don't want to be the last one to go through."

Adriana nodded, and gently pushed her forward. "It'll be okay."

Angie first held out her hand, and her eyes widened as it disappeared into the wall. "Doesn't hurt." She remarked, slowly becoming fascinated. She then took a last look at Adriana, she gave her what she hoped was an encouraging smile, before stepping through the barrier.

It was just Adriana left. She glanced around; making sure no one had spotted them. Everyone was walking by going about their business. No one seemed concerned.

Adriana looked back at the wall, her brows furrowed. A moment of panic struck her. What if she was the only one not allowed through? Would the others go on without her? Would she merely fade away as the story turned its pages?

"One way to find out." Adriana stated to herself. She straightened her back resolutely, determined not to be the only one left behind.

She was the die-hard fan, after all.

With that thought in mind, she stepped forward. The bricks seemed so close, and she closed her eyes slightly as they were mere inches from her face, and took another step forward.

She didn't feel bricks hitting her toe, and as momentum dropper her on the other foot, she opened her eyes and smiled.

Angie, Jamie, and Azrail were standing there, various expressions on their faces, but all glad to see her. Behind them children were pushing trolleys back and forth, some loading their luggage on the Hogwarts Express. Others being hugged by parents, wishing them a good school year. Cats meowed, Owls hooted, and the kids chattered as they met up with friends after a long summer apart.

Adriana took a moment to drink in the sight of the Hogwarts Express. The large, gleaming, black engine seemed alive. Smoke billowed from its stack, the lettering across the front pulling at her eyes. It was magical, lovely, and a sight she had always dreamed of seeing for herself.

"What now?" Azrail's voice drew her away from the magnificent view, and back to practicality.

"Well-- I guess we get on the train." Adriana stated, still in a numb sort of awe.

It hit her then.

She was in a Harry Potter book.

She was living out what had only lived in her imagination. Mapped out by JK Rowling. She was walking around in Rowling's dream.

The others seemed to agree, for loss of any better ideas. After all, no one had ever told them what to do if they ended up getting sucked into another world. They all slowly clambered up the steps, finding themselves looking down a long aisle of compartments. Some doors were open while others were shut.

They walked down the aisle slowly, glancing into compartments as they passed. There were kids of various ages inside. Some alone, and others in groups, laughing and talking excitedly. Adriana shook her head to try and get the gears out of shock.

"We should find an empty one." Jamie said in a hushed voice. The three agreed silently, and they soon found an unoccupied compartment. They all went in and plopped into their seats, deflating suddenly. Angie reached over and slid the door shut with a firm snap.

There was a heavy silence in their compartment as everyone took a moment to drink in what was happening. Azrail had her legs up on the seat with her across from Adriana, leaning against the window with her back. Her lips were pursed together, and her dark brown eyes cast downward lost in thought.

Jamie sat next to her, arms folded across her stomach somewhat protectively. A few strands had escaped the ponytail, the blond highlights her cousin had streaked into the soft brown faintly shining against her porcelain skin. Large chestnut eyes were fixed out the window, watching the kids and their parents walk by.

On the seat next to Adriana was Angie. She had her fingers running along the braided necklace at her neck. Her eyes were shut tightly, and she seemed paler than usual. Her tie dye shirt stood out among the neutral colors of the walls and seats, and she seemed the most out of place.

Adriana sighed and turned to look out the window. This was her fault. If she had listened to Azrail, put the book back, told the strange lady no thanks, they wouldn't be in this mess. Then again, who would have actually thought they'd have been taken into the book. If anyone had told her that before, she would have laughed in their face.

The loud whistle drew them all out of their thoughts, and the sudden lurch as the wheels turned signaled the beginning of their journey. They all watched as unfamiliar people waved from outside. Then the station rolled out of view, replaced by the city, and the building slowly disappeared into rolling green hills.

"You better tell us what you remember from the books, Ana." Azrail stated. "If we're going to Hog--whatever, I don't want any surprises."

"Hogwarts." Adriana corrected softly.

Azrail waved a hand. "Yeah, Hogwarts. Okay, start talking."

Adriana dug into her knowledge of the Harry Potter books, and then began telling Azrail and Angie about the Wizarding World. She related, as best she could, all the fact JK Rowling had in the books. Detailing the castle, the classes, the teachers, the students, and Harry's own life. It took a good amount of time, and a few comments from Jamie every now and again. Azrail and Angie mostly listened, asking a few questions of things left out of the movies or what was in the next three books. Adriana and Jamie answered them as well as they could.

They were well away from London when silence fell again. Then, the door to their compartment slid open, and everyone turned their heads to look at who had arrived.

A tall girl, with long black hair and slightly oriental features smiled at them. "Hey Ana, Jamie." She said without pause. Everyone shared a look of fresh shock and horror.

"Um-- hello." Jamie answered, blinking furiously.

"Hey, the meeting already started ten minutes ago." The girl told her. "You've been here the entire time?"

Jamie looked over at Adriana, and she only shrugged. Jamie turned back. "I forgot."

"Oh." The girl frowned slightly. "Well, come on. It's only just started."

"What meeting?" Azrail asked, glaring distrustfully at the girl.

Adriana noticed the change in the girl's demeanor as she regarded Azrail. It turned colder, her face drained of any friendliness. "Prefect and Head meeting, Morte."

Azrail narrowed her eyes, instantly going on guard. "Just asking. What's your fucking problem?"

The girl's eyes turned hard. "Watch your mouth, Morte. Next time I hear that word, you'll be writing lines till Christmas." She sniffed before turning back to Jamie. "C'mon."

"Okay..." Jamie said hesitantly, giving them all one last glance before standing and walking slowly out of the compartment behind the black haired girl. The door snapped shut behind them.

Azrail was fuming in her seat. "What a bitch. Who the hell was that?"

"Don't know." Adriana answered, shrugging lightly.

"How did she know your names?" Angie wondered aloud, blinking in surprise.

Azrail snorted. "Oh, that's obvious. When we got pulled into this _fucking_," she drawled out the word with relish, looking straight at the door as if hoping the girl was still outside it, "world, the freaky old lady probably made sure we had some sort of part in it. Y'know? It happened in Sandman, too. Everyone has a part to play."

"I guess that makes sense." Adriana said, brows drawn together. "Notice how she said your last name? Only times that happens in Harry Potter is if it's a 'bad' character."

"Great man." Azrail muttered sarcastically. "Figures."

Adriana felt a pang of sympathy for her friend. Azrail was always getting singled out at school if something bad happened. Of course, to be fair, she usually did have a hand in it. The other teens feared her, but despite that she was extremely popular with the out crowd, and some of the in. Azrail was her own person who didn't follow anyone's lead but her own, and they were all drawn to that. She was Harlem High school's version of Rebel without a Cause.

"So, everyone knows us? Like-- we've always been here?" Angie shook her head. "Weird."

"This whole thing is weird." Azrail pointed out, chin resting on her knees. "Who cares if they know our names?"

"I just think it's messed up. All right?" Angie huffed, pulling her hair back into a ponytail absently. She always did that when she was stressed. She removed the scrunchy on her wrist and pulled the long thick hair through. "Chill out, Az."

"Fuck you." Azrail said back in a bored tone.

Adriana sighed, leaning into her seat, and knew it was going to be a very long ride. A thought suddenly occurred to her as Angie and Azrail sent scathing looks silently to each other. "Hey, does that mean we're already sorted? They only sort first years."

"Guess so. You're the one who reads the books." Azrail replied, glancing over out of the corner of her eyes.

Adriana turned to look back out the window. "Wonder where."

"Huh?"

"Which house." She clarified, gazing back at Azrail. "You know-- the four?"

"Yeah. That Harry kid is in Gryffin--"

"Gryffindor." Adriana supplied.

Azrail pursed her lips. "Yeah, like I said, Gryffindor. So, if we're in the story, we'd be in Gryffindor too."

"Yeah. I suppose so." Adriana thought that the only house really explained was Gryffindor. Well, the Slytherins were talked about whenever they did something that pissed Harry off. Which was a lot.

The compartment was silent again, only interrupted when the woman with the candy cart rolled by. They didn't have any Wizarding money, so they said no thanks. She rolled away afterwards.

It was nearing dusk when Jamie finally came back. She sat down, and began speaking. "I'm a prefect."

"Congratu-fucking-lations." Azrail replied easily. Although, unlike the tone she used with Angie, there was no bite in it.

"Thanks-- I think." Jamie said smoothly. "Listen, I'm in Ravenclaw."

They all sat up a bit straighter at that. "There goes my theory." Azrail mumbled.

"So are you Ana. I don't know where Ang or Az are, but they're not in Ravenclaw." Jamie took out her pack of cigarettes. "Crack the window?"

Azrail did, and took out her own pack. She passed a cigarette to Ana, while Jamie passed one of her own to Angie. They all lit them up, not caring they were on the train. "Okay, here's the deal, there are a bunch of increased security this year. Not surprising, giving the end of book five. Aurors are supposed to be stationed around, and we have to make sure everyone is in their common rooms at curfew."

"Which is?" Angie asked, lighting her cigarette with Jamie's green bic.

"Nine." Jamie answered, taking it back and lighting her own. Azrail and Adriana used Azrail's Zippo with the dead head bear on it. "Okay, be in by nine. Or that Filth guy will get us."

"Filch." Jamie and Adriana said simultaneously.

Azrail took a drag, the cherry on her cigarette flaring. "Yeah, that's what I said."

Angie rolled her eyes while Adriana smiled. Jamie continued on. "I'm in sixth year. You guys are all in seventh." She shrugged. "Which pretty much goes with our normal school year."

Jamie was right, she was a year behind them.

"Okay." Adriana answered. "Who was that girl?"

"Oh!" Jamie turned and grinned. "Cho Chang."

"No shit?" Adriana blinked. "Yeah, she's Ravenclaw's Seeker."

"Yep." Jamie took a long drag. "We're going to Hogwarts." She said, shaking her head in wonder. "We really are."

They all digested that statement. Still reconciling the laws of the universe with the upside down spin wash cycle the world had suddenly taken. Something occurred to Adriana. "Who's teaching DADA?"

"What?" Angie asked, brows furrowed.

"Defense Against the Dark Arts." Adriana told her, turning back to Jamie.

She shook her head. "Don't know. Everyone's wondering, though. Long as it isn't Umbridge."

Adriana nodded furiously in agreement. Umbridge, in book five, had been the worst in a long line of bad DADA teachers. Lupin excluded, of course. She was weary of encountering one of Rowling's creations. Knowing they'd probably be some psycho trying to kill off Harry.

"She's the bitch with the quill that sliced into the hand, right?" Azrail asked.

"Yeah." Jamie's face was screwed up with disgust.

Azrail snorted before taking another drag and flicking the cigarette out the window. "If she tried that shit with me, I would've taken that quill and stabbed her with it."

Another realization struck Adriana like a lightning bolt. "Snape." She said, eyes growing wide.

Jamie, Azrail, and Angie gave Adriana _the _look. They all knew of Snape and her strange fixation with him. Angie was shaking her head with an amused smile on her face. Jamie arched a light brown brow elegantly.

Azrail was smirking outright. "Metatron kicks ass."

Adriana exhaled, and slumped against the seat. She had always had a crazy fixation on certain characters within her favorite fanons. Marron with Sorcerer Hunters. Vegeta from DBZ. Mulder in the X-Files. They were personifications. Qualities she found attractive. While normal fan girls fell for pretty boy bands or actors, she enjoyed characters. Why she liked Snape, she couldn't rightly say. Although, judging from her past boyfriends, guys who treated her like shit but had a bad boy image caught her attention.

She had issues.

"Tap that shit, dude." Azrail said with a gleeful sadistic tone. Adriana glared at Azrail, receiving only a knowing grin in return. "Shut up. You know you want to."

"Ana," Jamie said, leaning forward in her seat, "remember the whole conversation about dude could be my dad?"

Adriana shot her another icy glare. Dude could be my dad was their agreement that men old enough to be their fathers weren't guys to mess around with. It had came up after a boating trip Jamie had taken with her mom and a guy that had been her mom's friend. He had been a creepy man who had hit on Jamie the entire time. "Yeah."

"Making sure." She replied, leaning back.

"Oh, let her do whoever she wants to do." Azrail stated, flicking the cigarette out the window.

Angie snorted. "This from the person who fucked Jason."

"Hey, he was hot." Azrail said defensively. "So he was a bit fucked in the head."

"He held up a seven eleven, Az." Angie passed her cigarette to Ana, who threw it and her own out of the window. "You're not the one to be giving Ana advice."

"I'm being supportive and shit." Azrail answered snidely, adjusting her wrist brace.

"I'm not doing anybody!" Adriana interrupted loudly, tired of being talked about like she wasn't in the same compartment. "All right?"

"Whatever you say." Azrail remarked breezily. Adriana clenched her teeth.

"Look, he's a teacher. I'm not sick, damn it." She retorted.

Azrail shrugged. "Fine."

Adriana was about to say something more, when the train suddenly lurched violently, shaking them all. Azrail, shot out with her hand, and caught the window, before she was thrown out of her seat. There was a great whine of the wheels, and suddenly they stopped moving.

"Damn!" Azrail shouted, looking out the darkened window. "We there? Someone needs to work on their breaking."

"No kidding." Jamie said, adjusting back on the seat and also glancing out the window.

The train then began bouncing around, and the girls held onto the seat as it began to buck wildly beneath them. Adriana heard Azrail shout what the fuck, and then there were screams from further down the cars. Their compartment lurched again, and suddenly they were screaming as well when the car they were in began tilting on its side.

Angie slid down the seat and hit Adriana's side. Adriana reached out and grabbed onto Angie, holding her steady, as the car continued to tilt on its side. "We're derailing!" She shouted through the loud whines of the train and the terrified screams from all around.

The ground suddenly appeared in the window, and there was a huge sound of metal twisting as they fell on the wall. Their car was flipped on its side, and left Angie sprawled on top of Adriana's back. Her shoulder had hit the wall and was now aching slightly.

Their car had stopped moving, apparently not going to roll over any more. The four girls clambered to their feet, looking up at the door, which was now above them. There was still a loud murmur of people talking in the other compartments.

"What the hell was that?" Azrail asked, helping Jamie up. "Someone put a fucking brick on the tracks?"

Adriana then remembered the title of the chapter. "Train Wreck." She said softly.

At the other's looks, she frowned. "The title was called Train Wreck."

"Great." Angie muttered, wincing as she rubbed her arm. "Everyone okay?"

"Yeah." Adriana said. "I'm okay. Banged my shoulder."

"I'm cool." Azrail stated.

"Hit my hip, but I'm okay." Jamie replied dazed. "Thank god we weren't in a plane."

"No shit." Azrail muttered.

The smallest of them then placed her foot on the seat, and began climbing up it towards the door. She grunted a few times, but eventually reached the door and shoved it open. "Hold up, you guys." She said, gripping the edge and pulling herself up through it.

The talking grew louder with the door open, and she could hear others wondering what was going on as Azrail disappeared into the aisle. She heard Azrail open the door next to them and ask if everyone inside the compartment was okay. A chime of various fines rang out, and then Azrail was moving on.

There were only the murmurs around them, and then screams in the distance started up again. Adriana grew anxious, afraid for Azrail, when sounds of blasts in the distance rang out. "AZ!!"

"HOLD ON!" Came the shout from further down the car from Azrail. More people were asking what was going on, and Azrail told them angrily to shut the fuck up.

The three girls left in the compartment exchanged worried glances as the screams and blasts grew closer. Adriana heard the sliding door connecting their car with the next one slam shut, and she guessed Azrail was moving into the next car. When the screams kept growing closer, the door shut again and the sound of running, and then a loud thump, and more running followed. When Azrail appeared, panting, it became clear the thumping was her leaping over compartment doors. "Guys in black robes are fucking blasting people with-- sticks!" She shouted, down through the opening. "We gotta get the fuck outta here. NOW!"

"Death Eaters!" Jamie yelled.

"WHAT?"

"WHERE?!"

"WE'RE GOING TO DIE!"

Came the chaotic yells around them from other students. Adriana blanched and reached upwards towards the door to their compartment, grabbing onto the edges with her fingertips and using her feet to push herself up the seat. Azrail reached down and grunted as she helped pull her up.

Soon she was in a darkened aisle, while Angie followed her out. She and Azrail both reached down and pulled her up, and all three helped Jamie.

When they were all out of their compartment, they saw other students also scrambling outside. Some dropping from the compartments that had been on the other side of the train, others climbing out as they had.

"Come on!" Azrail growled as the screams moved closer.

They didn't ask, following Azrail as she led the way towards the opposite end of their car, jumping over the open doors in their way. They scrambled their way to the back of the train, shouting along the way that Death Eaters were coming as they did like a screwed up version of Paul Revere's ride. Only now, they were among the British.

Students ahead and behind followed their lead, while some had already been moving. They kept ahead of the screams and curses blasting behind them, hurrying to get out of the Hogwarts Express. Adriana knew they had no wands, and even if they did, had no idea how to use them to fend off Death Eaters. She was frightened, having read what the Death Eaters would do to any witch standing in their way. If they were attacking the train, they were probably after Harry Potter.

It was a tiring trek to the caboose, but once there, they opened the door and jumped down to the ground. It was dark; the wind stinging their skin, and the large group of students, she guessed around thirty, all shot off into the darkened landscape.

The four American girls who had been sucked into the story ran after them, keeping each other in sight. It was an open field, no where to hide, and they were all panicking like rats who had fled the sinking ship only to find they landed in the water. A green glow in the air above them drew Adriana's eye, and she saw the horrifying skull with the serpents tongue floating above the train on its side. The Dark Mark seemed to laugh, although it was simply an ugly mar on the night sky.

"Drop down!" Azrail commanded, and they all did as she ordered, flattening their bodies to the ground under the cover of a cloudy night. Like soldiers flattening themselves to stay out of the sight of the enemy.

They all breathed heavily, exhausted by the flight. They watched as parts of the train lit up with blues and reds and hexes were fired off in the cars. The Death Eaters were slowly combing through it, and Adriana wondered where Harry Potter was. She realized, however, that no green flashes of the killing curse lit the cars, and she felt better knowing they weren't murdering the others. "They're stunning students."

"Why?" Angie asked, gazing at the train.

"So they don't fight back." Azrail answered bitterly. "Cowards."

"Look!" Jamie whispered, pointing up to the sky.

Figures, flying in the air, closed in on the train. The Dark Mark illuminated their approach, and Adriana watched as they landed onto the top of what had been the train's side, and began disappearing one by one. "What the--"

"Disapperating." Adriana told Azrail. "They're teleporting into the train."

"Oh, cool." Azrail answered, watching as more disappeared to where the blasts were taking place.

More lights erupted, and it was clear that the new arrivals were there to defend the students. Adriana wondered if they were Aurors, or members of the Order. Shouts grew from the train, and suddenly the dreaded green light lit one of the compartments.

"Oh no!" Adriana breathed, horrified.

"What?!" Angie asked, her head snapping over to look.

Jamie swallowed. "Green light is the killing curse."

"Fuck." Azrail said succinctly, summing it all up.

The lights continued erupting, and it seemed they were pushing the Death Eaters back. Suddenly, out of a window, a Wizard holding a large bundle flew out and rose quickly into the night before zooming off into the west. Adriana watched until they disappeared into the distance.

Shortly afterwards there were more popping sounds, and Wizards in red robes began appearing out of thin air, before boarding the train. There were more sporadic pops, as a few more Wizards or Witches arrived, but from the distance Adriana couldn't tell who they were. The fighting inside grew to tremendous proportions, and the students who had fled with them were whispering fearfully while the four girls remained silent witnesses.

Suddenly, a glowing figure in blue robes, the moon shining and illuminating a head of gray hair, arrived and quickly entered the train. There were several flashes of light, much brighter than the previous, and it was not long afterwards that all the lights stopped.

The girls exchanged a look, wondering what was going to happen next as silence rained down heavily.

The blue figure appeared on top of the train, and suddenly a clear voice rang out for yards, it's owner old and sounding fatigued. "TO THE STUDENTS WHO ESCAPED, PLEASE RETURN TO THE TRAIN! IT IS SAFE!"

"Dumbledore!" Came a few excited shouts further beyond them.

Jamie and Adriana exchanged a glance, and a smile.

"Who?" Azrail hissed.

"Headmaster of Hogwarts." Jamie answered grinning. "C'mon!"

"Right." Azrail muttered, standing up as the rest of them. "I'll just go back to the train from this fucked up book, where dudes with sticks are shooting beams of light like a fucking Star Trek episode."

Adriana ignored Azrail's sarcasm as they joined the crowd. The students who had raced out walked, and in some cases limped, back to the train. They all gathered near as many more wizards and witches continued to pop in suddenly, causing the four girls to jump in fright.

"Students, students, this way, please." Came a stern voice of a woman, who was huddling them around her.

Adriana looked over and saw the witch was dressed in rich green robes, her hair twisted up into a bun and small spectacles on her face. She spoke with a Scottish accent, and Adriana had a feeling she knew who this was.

"Over here, girls." She said, directly to them. "Good, good." She continued as the ambled over. Her eyes were crystal blue and clear, even set in the old weathered face. "We've brought port keys, hurry now, before anyone comes back."

"Who is she?" Azrail whispered to Adriana.

"Miss Morte, if you don't recognize me by now, then you haven't served enough detentions." The woman said sternly as she hustled Azrail next to a tall boy with blonde hair who was dressed in his school robes. In fact, now that there weren't the sounds of Wizards blasting around them, Adriana noted that most of the students were already dressed in their Hogwarts' uniforms.

Azrail lifted her brow, apparently surprised the old woman had heard her, but let her clump them all together. "Right." She said to the woman.

The woman peered down at her. "Are you injured? Hit your head?"

"No." Azrail answered her voice just as sharp and short.

The old witch pursed her lips, and now Adriana was certain of who it was. Apparently, they looked nothing like they had in the movies. "She's just a bit shaken, Professor McGonagall."

"Ah." McGonagall nodded, and then held out an old teapot. "Everyone touch the kettle, please."

Jamie and Adriana exchanged an excited glance, before reaching out and placing their fingers against the silver along with over twenty other students. Adriana shouldered Azrail, and after receiving a dark glare, her friend followed the example. Angie was the last to reach out. "Go on now, Miss Sabyne, we haven't got all night."

"Sorry, ma'am." Angie muttered before drawing her brows together and touching the teapot.

"Everyone ready?" They all nodded. "Excellent. One, two, three."

She tapped the teapot with her wand, and it felt as if something had wrapped it's hold around Adriana and began pulling from her stomach outward. The world disappeared around her in a flash, and she was port keyed away from the site of the battle.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

**In the next installment:**

Our *cough, cough* hero's arrive at Hogwarts in chaos. Where will Azrail and Angie be sleeping? Will they ever meet any characters besides McGonagall? Will they be what Jamie and Celeste imagined? Will Azrail manage to swear more than Cartman? Who died? Who's the DADA teacher? Find out next time.

Birds do it, bees do it, even educated fleas do it. Let's do it. Let's REVIEW!


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